klwilliams: (Karen passport photo)
The last I looked, there was no way to delete a birthday from the Apple built-in Calendar Birthday calendar. I've tried; one of my ex-boyfriend's birthday keeps coming up three years after my husband proposed to me. Apple didn't have a solution then, and since it doesn't seem to have solutions for most of its other lame usability products, I haven't bothered to keep trying.

But.

When I sat down here, the Birthday calendar told me that Dad's birthday was in 41 minutes. It was having a countdown.in fact. Now it's 31 minutes (we had a brief pause while I went in to get something from the bedroom, where Chaz and Barry where playing The Best Game Evah -- with string! -- but now I'm back). Dad would have been 76 this birthday. He didn't quite make it to 75. I miss him, and I already knew his birthday was coming next week, this week, on Sunday. It's two days after the Fourth of July, after all. A minor blip on the calendar, after all. But.

I think of my father. "It's not rocket science!" is a common refrain these days, and Dad was a rocket scientist. He taught me the essence of calculus when I was twelve. (I was the math one of his children.) We played Mastermind so often we could guess each other's secret set in two moves. We had very similar personalities, too. His side of the family was the smart-alec side, though both sides were depressed. He kept secrets very, very well, and held Top Secret and Classified security clearances for most of his adult life. He rarely said anything about his jobs, and rarely anything about his personal life, until we argued him into after he had open heart surgery without telling us (though he told my grandmother). Our parents divorced when I was four, and until I got old enough to drive we spent our summers at his house in Alabama. I saw him once a year until the last five our so, which oddly corresponded with meeting my husband. Dad was too ill to come to our wedding, and I was too ill to bring Chaz out before Dad died, though I'd intended to. Or was I?

I miss Dad, though I've missed him before, often, for different reasons. Still, I remember him, and know what good things he's done for me, and the impressions he's made on my life, and I love him.

Dad's birthday is in 20 minutes. I hope my friends wish him well. I know I do.
klwilliams: (Karen passport photo)
Chaz and I had birthday cake at lunch today. German chocolate cake, since you asked. A piece from Safeway, because Dad always liked store-bought cake for his birthday. Grandmother could always make wonderful cakes, and the stores couldn't match them for taste, but a store-bought cake was special, somehow. So Dad always wanted one on his birthday. He'd have been 75 today.
klwilliams: (Karen passport photo)
Farewell, Jeff's fairy bunny princess.
Jeff loves you to the moon and back.
But you've soared beyond the moon.
Jeff loves you and wants you back.
Who is there to play with beyond the moon?
No Jeff, but Bruce is there.
I've known him all my life.
I want him back.
But
Now he can play with you.
His sense of humor is just like mine.
He traveled to Thailand, and Belize, but never Africa.
Share your stories and laugh together.
Share stories of your journeys, as you explore the stars together.
It won't be too dark.
He understood stars. And rockets. He showed me a space shuttle.
We always went to the Space and Rocket Center together.
I went without him this last time.
As the two of you explore the galaxy together
Tell jokes
Share stories
Remember us
Farewell, Jeff's fairy bunny princess.
Not good-bye.
One day
Jeff will meet you at the moon and love you through the universe.
And you won't come back.
One day
I'll meet Dad at the moon, too,
And he'll show me the stars.
I'll love him through the universe, as he'll love me.

Dad memorial

Dad Memorial 3
klwilliams: (Karen passport photo)
I got a text from Chaz today, saying to call him immediately as soon as I was in a private place. All of that was alarming, especially the part about calling him. I was afraid it was about his mother, but it wasn't, fortunately. It was about my father.

I called my stepmother, who was in tears and difficult to understand, but my father had just died. She was in the hospital, dealing with things. I told her I'd call my brother and my aunt, and I'd call her this evening. Then I cried.

When I called, she told me he'd had brothers with his heart rate this past weekend, going from very fast to very slow. She'd taken him to the hospital, and the doctors said that they didn't know what was up, so she brought him home on Sunday. He'd been using oxygen at night, but today he was having problems breathing. He'd been diagnosed with emphysema years ago, but when he stopped smoking I didn't hear any more about it. Pen (my stepmother) took him to the hospital today, where he had a heart attack.

We're working on things like figuring out when the memorial service will be, and when my brother is going out (tomorrow) and when Chaz and I are (probably Sunday). It will be good to see Pen and Benjamin (my baby brother, who just turned 10) again. I'm sorry that Chaz didn't get to meet my father. I already miss Dad, but I wasn't surprised at his passing. He'd been moving that way for a while.

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klwilliams

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